Tonight we visited the subject of idolatry in Bible study.... I guess I should preface with letting you know of the enormous challenge I have taken on this fall semester with our students-- we are attempting to cover the scope of the Bible in 12 weeks of studying it from beginning to end. Not that we would ever actually cover its' entirety, but the object of this attempt is for the students to grasp that the Old Testament IS, in fact, relevant in their discipleship. (and for them to get that the words all add to something that matters so they can share the gospel with others)
I must say, it is hard trying to interest teenagers in covenants, asherahs, the 12 tribes, and pigeon sacrifices. But, I am attempting with some success (I hope).
So tonight we discussed Israel's crave for a king when they had the best of the best as their ruler... which is what is so catching to me-- you ask God for something that He knows you don't need, nor really want-- and he still gives it to you. He is such a God with a sense of humor, but I cannot even imagine the agony he endured as he watched his chosen, precious people quickly slip out of grasp and into the unknown, unsatisfying lifestyle of idol worship. At first glance this seems so irrelevant to us because we do not create golden statues of calves or poles with funny heads or high places to escape to.... or do we?
The targeted idol that surfaced this evening was our idoled relationships. Which sounds odd that a relationship can become an idol--but I watch relationships mislead our students everyday. Whether it be with their friendships and the sacrifices they are willing to make for one another that compromises their morality or the comprise of their values, bodies, thoughts, and purity in the wrecking dating relationships they enter-- it hurts my heart... I cannot even fathom God's heart-wrenching emotion towards his children on this matter.
I can even see myself making perfection an idol. Striving to be the best at my job, the best wife, have the greatest plans for life-- ugh... what a sickness deep inside my stomach that I'm just living in the "promised land" wrecking it all up and begging God to give me things I don't even need because I don't see His provision and increasingly providing ways that are so not like my own.
Lord, grant me the decency of being able to distinguish and weed out the idols I have made for myself--all the things that manifest themselves in my life long before the thought of YOU. You deserve to be my thoughts and my utmost desire.
This morning I challenged myself to do what I asked my students to do-- I created a posture of prayer that was uncomfortable, somewhat embarassing, and kind of awkward.... I knelt down in my own living room and prayed for God to intervene in my addiction to worship of things not of Him- and ugh, my knees felt rug burned, my dog kept licking me, and I felt so awkward... but somehow I feel like God was glorified when I exited my element of comfort because the focus was Him and I stayed in that position until I was finished talking to Him and my mind never wandered-- hmm, seems like the bed and couch aren't the greatest locations to focus entirely on the Lord. Lesson learned.
What are the idol addictions you are facing? Comparatively what does God's time look like next to your own "deserved" rest and relaxation? I promise he enables us to rest better than a warm blanket and a great pillow. We so often think we deserve some "me time"... what?? We really don't deserve anything, much less some uninterrupted time that we just focus in on OURSELVES- haha, don't you think God laughs a little at that? That we think we are so deserving...
Looking forward to some sweet rest in my Maker next week-- thinking of ways to make it more about him and less about me. Vacation is an exciting thing, but I am really struggling with feeling like I "deserve" it, because I don't. SO- I guess I just take it as a blessing and just remember that though God blessed His chosen people, He also made them responsible for making his name great among all the nations. Okay, so I have a job to do.
Adios amigos.
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