Today was a lot different. I feel like God is helping me to pull it together so I'm not such a sob bag all the time. I would never say I didn't still feel pain and anger for what I've seen, and I hope I never ever stop hurting for those that matter so much to God.
Today we were at CISNA- a boys orphanage. I spent the morning knee deep in a bathroom full of... Well all the goodies you find in there.. And then some. I was definitely humbled. It was amazing watching Laine in the worst part of the bathroom. The man who gags at the smell of everything. He worked so hard and never said a word.
We did our bible story and I think I'm finally getting used to telling it with a translator now. These boys were amazing today... They just wanted a momma and a daddy. They revealed to me the utter significance of relationship that God gave us a craving for... not by accident. The relationship of mother and father to a child is just a portrait of God in our lives'--or it should be. How can these children survive without the deepest need all humans have... Love.
We definitely did some loving! I'm sure these boys just thought, "what are these crazy white people doing here cleaning up our poo?". Yep, it's because God loves in ridiculous and unconditional ways.
I really love teenagers. Fyi. Even though only 3 of our youth babies are on this trip, Laine and I have naturally just taken each one of them into our youth baby custody. We are having such a blast watching God use them in their fearless and radical postures and behaviors. I just sat back and watched them and they were Jesus to me in that moment.
Tomorrow we are taking about 40 boys to the beach. This will be crazy! But I can't wait for the abundance of joy God is going to just pour on all of us.
I can easily picture this becoming reality. Today I just kind of felt at home. There's no better place than where our greatest passion meets the world's greatest needs. (I didn't make that up...)
Tonight I am blessed by Matthew 26:1-13. The woman with the alabaster jar... A woman who took a very costly item (perhaps worth 3 years wages) and she poured the perfume from her jar on the head of Jesus. In good intentions the disciples judged her; thinking the money from that jar could have been given to the poor. However, Jesus defends her and says it is not waste: he says "The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me." We aren't to live in pursuit of the poor or place them as priority over the purpose-- the purpose remains as this: to live our lives in reckless abandonment for Christ. Giving up what looks so costly and feels so good, simply because we love Jesus more There will always be poverty-- this woman gave all she had in the most costly way to Jesus. This is what we are to do.
In so doing this, the poor will inevitably see Jesus and our sacrifice remains in honor of Christ. Doing for the least of these is doing for Him. We have got to live every moment, having counted the cost, and ready to abandon everything for Him. I actually feel like for one of the first times in my life I have an alabaster jar that is being poured out- even if just a few drops.
Lord, may tomorrow be about giving up my comforts and selfishness so that I'm all yours for these boys. May our relationships enable them to know who you are.
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