Su Dios es mi Dios.

A boy on our team named Avery so perfectly described his encounter with a little girl tonight and I just felt as if the image was my own...

He held a little girl that tightly grasped his neck and began to touch his face, and her legs were wrapped around him-- she was so tightly snuggled into him and she looked up with a smile so full of joy for the love he showed her.

I truly feel that God is holding me in a way that I want to touch his face and know him so much more because of how remarkable his love is for me.

Let me preface this with: my words will not come near the reality of what I experienced today. I am in utter amazement by what I saw and the complete devastation the lives of children are in.

I caught myself weeping at least 4 times today. I'm emotionally consumed in a way I've never known. My heart is pounding to a rhythm it's not felt and I'm broken into more pieces and directions than can even be identified.

The day began with a very eager team (primarily our lovely teenage girls)-no one took advantage of the 9:30 departure time- instead I think the team was ready by 7 am!! I believe some sweet get to know you time was necessary and such a blessing. We all nervously put the final touches on our ministry projects without a clue of what to expect, but we did it with quite the sense of humor.

We attended a local church that was filled with some true Jesus worshippers. Cry número uno occurred here. I was filled by God's sweet spirit watching and joining in the worship of another language. I fully saw a God that has deemed love the universal language- and His love is unchanging and constant and ever present in my own life just as it is in el Salvador.

Lunch was muy bueno... Cheese and chicken quesadillas at a yummy "Mexican" restaurant. What a tasty and filling meal to prepare me for what was to come.

Today we spent the majority of the day and evening at CIPI, which is an orphanage of a lot of diversity. I began with the teenage girls where sob numero dos occurred. A skit by our outstanding teens was put on and then a message about a Father that far surpasses any earthly father was presented. Many girls began shedding tears because all they ever wanted in life was to be loved by a daddy.  I just began to examine my heart and how blessed I am to have both. These girls just wanted us to hug on and love on them... I hugged a sweet girl that didn't want to let go. I really believe through nail painting and make up and conversation these girls felt the love of God- that came to them without need for them to earn it, but simply unconditionally.

Next, I spent time with the teenage mothers, whi were just babies themselves. Simply holding their babies gave them a moment to relax and feel cared for. Many of these girls live in the orphanage because they were in danger at home-- whether it was a gang member boyfriend or a rapist father- these girls werent in good hands. Today they found out they are in God's hands and he does have a plan even in their circumstances.

Okay, so many more stories could be shared like how I've never seen so much pizza inhaled by such small children or how baby holding should be a sport and I'd have the most points because I'm that good... Or even Laine's sweet moments of working with the special needs kids and how God revealed needs he never knew existed and just how overtaken with compassion he was and is. (tomorrow we spend most of the day at the special needs orphanages, along with an AIDS orphanage, and going to a village to give away food gifts and Bibles)

Okay this moment of the day is where God really got a hold of me and all I could do was weep:

I noticed a little girl (maybe 3 years old) wondering around and she looked kind of sad- I reached out to her and she ignored me, which is rare, and walked away. About an hour later I noticed her again, only more sad and more lost and even whimpering softly. I knelt down to her and she latched on to me and just started to cry. I quickly yelled for a translator because I was afraid she was sick or hurting... She would not respond but slowly she started o get calm. I just hugged her in a way I don't think I've ever connected with someone before. And lo and behold, I began to cry again. I started praying over this girl as she let out sad cries that revealed the hurt she had of loneliness and rejection.  It was only about 10 minutes later until this little angel was sound asleep in my arms. Tears just streamed down my face as i felt her tiny malnourished arms and Jody (our team leader) came to me and asked what was wrong. I told him I didn't know but that it seemed to all be okay now- he simply said that that sweet girl needs a mommy to love her, and I felt like that was me- if only for a moment- it was unlike any other encounter with a child I ever felt. I connected to her and God placed me there to allow her to feel those snuggles and kisses. I am sure she has never fallen asleep in someones arms like she did tonight. I then tucked her into a tiny bed that had holes in the sheets and was shared with another child- tightly and gently with kisses and all. I can't wait to be a mommy-- and maybe even to someone like this little angel.

My joy is so complete with that moment of love.

I know my heart is being transformed. And I like it.

Praise be to the God of gentle and compassionate kisses and snuggles.