Just some "me time".

Tonight we visited the subject of idolatry in Bible study.... I guess I should preface with letting you know of the enormous challenge I have taken on this fall semester with our students-- we are attempting to cover the scope of the Bible in 12 weeks of studying it from beginning to end.  Not that we would ever actually cover its' entirety, but the object of this attempt is for the students to grasp that the Old Testament IS, in fact, relevant in their discipleship.  (and for them to get that the words all add to something that matters so they can share the gospel with others)

I must say, it is hard trying to interest teenagers in covenants, asherahs, the 12 tribes, and pigeon sacrifices. But, I am attempting with some success (I hope).

So tonight we discussed Israel's crave for a king when they had the best of the best as their ruler... which is what is so catching to me-- you ask God for something that He knows you don't need, nor really want-- and he still gives it to you.  He is such a God with a sense of humor, but I cannot even imagine the agony he endured as he watched his chosen, precious people quickly slip out of grasp and into the unknown, unsatisfying lifestyle of idol worship.  At first glance this seems so irrelevant to us because we do not create golden statues of calves or poles with funny heads or high places to escape to.... or do we?

The targeted idol that surfaced this evening was our idoled relationships.  Which sounds odd that a relationship can become an idol--but I watch relationships mislead our students everyday.  Whether it be with their friendships and the sacrifices they are willing to make for one another that compromises their morality or the comprise of their values, bodies, thoughts, and purity in the wrecking dating relationships they enter-- it hurts my heart... I cannot even fathom God's heart-wrenching emotion towards his children on this matter.

I can even see myself making perfection an idol.  Striving to be the best at my job, the best wife, have the  greatest plans for life-- ugh... what a sickness deep inside my stomach that I'm just living in the "promised land" wrecking it all up and begging God to give me things I don't even need because I don't see His provision and increasingly providing ways that are so not like my own.

Lord, grant me the decency of being able to distinguish and weed out the idols I have made for myself--all the things that manifest themselves in my life long before the thought of YOU.  You deserve to be my thoughts and my utmost desire.

This morning I challenged myself to do what I asked my students to do-- I created a posture of prayer that was uncomfortable, somewhat embarassing, and kind of awkward.... I knelt down in my own living room and prayed for God to intervene in my addiction to worship of things not of Him- and ugh, my knees felt rug burned, my dog kept licking me, and I felt so awkward... but somehow I feel like God was glorified when I exited my element of comfort because the focus was Him and I stayed in that position until I was finished talking to Him and my mind never wandered-- hmm, seems like the bed and couch aren't the greatest locations to focus entirely on the Lord.  Lesson learned.

What are the idol addictions you are facing?  Comparatively what does God's time look like next to your own "deserved" rest and relaxation?  I promise he enables us to rest better than a warm blanket and a great pillow.  We so often think we deserve some "me time"... what??  We really don't deserve anything, much less some uninterrupted time that we just focus in on OURSELVES- haha, don't you think God laughs a little at that? That we think we are so deserving...

Looking forward to some sweet rest in my Maker next week-- thinking of ways to make it more about him and less about me.  Vacation is an exciting thing, but I am really struggling with feeling like I "deserve" it, because I don't.  SO- I guess I just take it as a blessing and just remember that though God blessed His chosen people, He also made them responsible for making his name great among all the nations. Okay, so I have a job to do.

Adios amigos.

Take a deep breath...

It is seemingly difficult to pick up writing when I seem to accumulate enormous time spans between blogging... I am probably world's worst blogger ever.  Just know that coming into this element of my life... it is scarce, but my intentions are not-- I love sharing, but it may not happen in a consistent manner.

I have an ever-wandering mind that is provoked by thoughts, dreams, and randomness.  I sense myself having a mild case of ADD when it comes to this blog idea. (But who doesn't?)

So, where has life brought me since my prior to Easter "lent" blogging... (Lent was great by the way, though long ago). 

Married life has awesomely settled into my routine and the maintanence of a home, being a wife, a doggy mommy, and establishing solid relationships within the ministry I am ever-so blessed to be entrusted with has all become my day-to-day.  Never boring, rather exciting, new, and undoubtedly challenging as it is-- it is better than great, it is an overwhelming blessing that swells my heart to know God has placed me HERE, on PURPOSE to do really cool things.

I've got the coolest side kick and partner in ministry anyone could ever dream of having.. this man layered himself in chocolate pudding, flour, and green mashed potatoes for me on Sunday evening at our annual "SPLAT" event.  Laine Cooper is an extremely passionate special-ed teacher that wears the burdens of all those around him, he carries the hurts of his students, all while soothing the hardships they face with his patience and love... and THEN he comes to my "job" (I love that I get to call it that) and invests wholly in the students here.  He is a saint.

I have many moments in the past few months I certainly want to share....

*My pops: a life-changing event that impacted us all so dearly.... a persevering father that is a heck of an example.
                    On July 18th (the day right before my very first VBS directing debut) my dad endured a massive heart attack.  Dad was rushed to the hospital via my aunt/uncle and then ambulance to Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis where a stint was put in heart to obscure some of the blockage.  We later found out that a bypass surgery is inevitable.  The rest of that week was CRAZY... with rushing to STL to see my precious dad for a few short hours, and then back to "Egypt" to ensure that all was well with our 150+ kids that attended our VBS- we had some obstacles!   Here is where the story just blesses my heart:  July 18th would have been 30 years of marriage for my mom and dad, however, they divorced 5 years ago. It has been a wreck of a journey for the past 5 years watching my dad come out a devastating time in life--but God surely had a plan and is still working deeply in my dad's life.  On August 18th dad had a triple bypass surgery.  This day will never be forgotten as we all prayed for hours upon hours for dad's health, for the doctor's wisdom, and for a quick recovery. God answered and manifested himself in my dad's recoup- he did amazing and has made enormous progress since that day.  A great conversation with dad informed me and affirmed that God is unfolding plans for daddy--- dad said that his heart attack wasn't just caused by unhealthy diets, smoking, and diabetes--but because his heart held so much resentment for the past and bitterness towards my mother he believed he had this heart attack-- he said no person can live that way.  I do believe God is easing his pain and equipping him for a mighty work (more so than I have already seen and felt from my dad).   Way cool time, though it was scary and uncertain, God proved himself yet again in the midst of our doubts.


All this has led to this: A new-found calling... making myself marketable in the world for a great God. So, among the pleas for God to intervene in my dad's life, God did so in my own life.  As I sat in that hospital for many hours (of what at times felt like suffering due to the intense amount of "family time" being had by all, ha) God began speaking to me about preparation for what is next in life.  As many of you know I had begun a master's program in family therapy with hopes to be a counselor in a few years.  Well, well, well I do believe God has a different direction He is leading me.  God clearly gave me a vision of nursing school for my future.  I believe I am exactly where God wants me in this ministry at Trinity-- but I do know that in time, this will be no longer and I will move forward.  What better time than right now in all the flexibility our lives' are giving us to pursue a nursing degree?!  I believe God is preparing me to help physically meet needs for people so then he can further use me to spiritually provide a seed to help give others hope.  As a nurse and a teacher, Laine Cooper and I are scared to put ourselves on the line for God to send us and use us anywhere, but we are called and are going to be obedient.  So, hello nursing school soon!  (I am finishing pre-reqs in the spring to enroll in nursing in the fall of 2011!)

Praise God for his timing and provision in our lives.  Praise God for a support system of wonderful family members and a rock of a husband. Praise God for a church family that supports me, affirms me, and loves on me.  Praise God for healing. Praise God for beautiful September fall weather.  Praise God for a much needed vacation beginning SATURDAY!

Just praise God for enabling me to be a part of his perfect plan.  

Long, eh?  Well that is what happens when I forget to write for 5 months-ish.  Peace out.
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Lent...not found in the dryer.

This week has been a tremendous blessing in the life of the Coopers.  We are observing Lent for the first time in our good 'ole Baptist history.  Trinity has blessed us with an amazing family, supportive friends, and challenging endeavors in our spiritual journey... Here is one:

Wednesday evening we participated in the Ash Wednesday service and my heart was truly opened and recognized with Christ what is really going on here--- We are living a life that portrays His suffering, salvation, and freedom.  He chose me, He chose you- to reveal to others what happened on the cross and then three days later. Pretty big task if I do say so myself.

So, this Lenten season we received ashes on our foreheads-- but what was that for? It's about repentence; it's about mourning the tragedy that saved my life.  I've been blessed to be studying within my counseling courses some of the aspects of grieving and how incredibly healthy this is for life.  We also are encouraged to "give something up".  Not as a punishment, or a chance to complain about one more thing, but as a sacrifice--a sacrifice that is ultimately about us drawing nearer to our Creator by engaging in quality time with Him in the absence of something we often replace Him with.

The Coopers have given up eating out.  This is quite a challenge for us fast-paced, lovers of convenience, and novice cooks.  We have actually been so blessed this week, already!! We have spent more time together, cooking and experimenting in new meals. Okay, so you may be thinking how does that bring you closer to Christ??  Well, I am reminded with every conversation with my husband of the love God has for me, because He uses Laine to show love to me more times than not.  I also feel so refreshed and encouraged to dig deeper after spending time with Laine.  It's been good and it's only been a few days!

I love learning new things and watching God transform my life and lives around me.

This week we have some BIG things happening in the lives our students.  Wednesday we are hoping to have a larger than usual crowd at our youth service! This frightens me, but reminds me that God is in control--and no, I cannot handle the crowd, but HE can and WILL.  Also, this coming weekend we are taking 6 lovely ladies to a conference in Nashville. Pray that God will instill in them leadership and passions to serve.

Anticipating and EXPECTING my God to show up and do BIG things this week...

So blessed!

This verse has spoken to me tremendously this week: "That day, when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Mark 4:35  Boy did Jesus ever go over to the other side. He went to outcasted, hurting, tragically lonesome, devastated, sick, annoying people... That's where we all should be heading.  Let's go.

'Lil Coop... the dog.

In the world of blogging, people are custom to the frequent blog about their cute, adorable, little children.  Well, this makes me jealous.. not jealous enough to do anything about it... but jealous enough to blog about my dog.  Yep, I have a dog-- thought I would definitely have a child before I would let a dog step foot into my house.

So, his name is Griswald, in lieu of the Christmas season when he made his way into our lives.  Grizzy was found lurking around Trinity United Methodist Church, my place of employment, for nearly a week.  Finally, Joey (pastor) lured him in  using his dog whisperer voice.  I was convinced by Joey and Laurinda that we needed a dog.  I thought for one night, in the spirit of Christmas, sure.. I can give in for just one night.  When he came for his visit, he surprised us by letting us know when he needed to go outside and even a few meaningless tricks he seemed to know.  Surely he was someone's precious dog gone missing.

A visit to the vet let us know that he didn't have a chip to tell us where home was... we made some phone calls.. waited and waited..

It's history from there.  Little Grizzy went home to IL for Christmas and was officially intiated into the Sasser/Cooper families.

He's the only extra mouth we will be feeding for awhile.  A long while...  

Here he is: 

Sorry about his eyes... he always has zombie eyes in pictures.  He's cute, huh?!?

We do love him :) 

Prayers

This past Sunday we took the youth to see "To Save A Life"... A very powerful movie that I feel touched them in a very deep, passionate way.  We are going to begin a new study on Wednesdays, talking about how much our lives influence those around us.  How can we be more conscious of the affect we have? Of the love we are sharing, or not sharing?  What do we want our lives to be about? 

I believe God is going to do something big and great in the lives of the teenagers here.  I believe our God is big enough!  He is, completely, without a doubt.  I'm ready to see Him move.  Pray for the students-- I mean pray big, believing that God can tranform their lives, and their minds to the likeness of Christ.

Pray for the people of Haiti... I still cannot get them out of my mind, and I pray I never will.  Tonight we boxed over 2,000 health kits and I was so inspired to see people coming together to form this unity called Love.  I pray that with each wash cloth, bar of soap, tooth brush, etc-- that these people will truly feel the grace of God in their lives... the protection He covers them in... and the hope He has laid forth for them.

Pray for my sweet husband. That God will continue to reveal his plan for his master's degree & that the influence he is having on the children at Heath is life-changing.  Pray that his passion never ceases.  Pray that I can love him better everyday.

Pray for me... that I will hand over all things to my Father each morning.  That he can make all things new in my life and that I don't grow weary in serving in Him.  Pray for what I am studying, that it won't just be words on a page, but these words will transform my attitude and heart into a true servant, desiring to show love through healing counsel to others, with Christ working through me and in me in all that I do.

Just pray.  Always pray.  Never stop.  :-)  He's a good God that wants to talk, wants us to listen, wants us to depend on Him, humble ourselves before Him, desire Him, dwell in His presence, love like Him, act like Him, and just be more and more like Christ everyday.  He wants us!! We are desired by the One that created the universe! So cool.

Engaged.

Engaged... this word became new to me this time last year, as I was just that--Engaged.   However, I'm wanting to fully grasp this word.  Not just as a means of planning, anticipating, picking out flowers, colors, cakes, dresses, invitations, songs, verses, vows, and the list only goes on.  Why do we call the "pre-wedding" period, an engagement? 

According to dictionary.com the word means to "occupy the attention and/or efforts of", "to attract and hold fast", "to bind as by pledge or promise".  Okay, no where does it say "the fret before the big day", "the stress of perfection", "the spending of too much money"... or better yet "getting married!"  So this word must mean so much more.

To be engaged is the perfect term for marriage.  "To bind by pledge or promise".  I didn't quit being engaged just because I got married.  Really, I still "occupy my attention and efforts" towards my husband.  Granted, most people occupy the time with efforts towards one day (the wedding day)-- but what if we occupy efforts to making life joined with another human-being work... last... mean something.  I like to think that is what my man and I did and are doing.

Okay, so this blog is not about me missing being engaged... or wanting another ring... and Lord knows I do not want to do all that planning again... But, this is about being engaged in life, in our calling, in our purpose.  I feel convicted that I am not engaged enough-- that my efforts aren't geared passionately enough--that my time isn't occupied intently enough.  It's all about the glory, all about the message, all about the worship, the service, the response to all of this.  Life is beginning to feel cluttered.  An array of social strife, appearance motivation, political discord, spiritual warfare, task obsessions, and selfish desires... all stacking themselves on a shelf that is need of much organization--and dusting. 

Why would I want to ever stop being engaged to my husband?  I wouldn't.  It was such a sweet time... the anxiety and butterflies.  The re-telling of the proposal.  The flashing of the ring.  From now on, considered me married and happily engaged.

Which takes me back to the moment I was called.  Called by my Maker to be a saint of service.  I remember the feeling I have received every step of the way... the day I gave my life to Christ.  The day He called me overseas.  The day He spoke through me as children and teens cried out to Christ.  The day He showed me He was the great Counselor and that through 2 Corinthians 1:3-11, He comforted me, so that I may comfort others.  That's all. No big deal. 

Each one of those moments I was fully engaged in my love for Christ.  As I am daily reminded through my "engagement" of love for my husband... I can remember to engage myself in my love for the Creator of the Universe... and that I must "occupy the attention and efforts" of my entire being to making this love known.

That's all, no big deal.  Still engaged.  Have you seen my ring? 

Responding...

Last night as I watched the horror across the screen of my television I had this deep cut inside that was urging a response... as I lay there in my peacecful bed, I couldn't imagine what a response from someone like me could possibly look like.

The most impoverished nation of the Westeren Hemisphere was deeply affected by a 7.0 earthquake... the Haitians suffered a number of aftershocks, all equallying in damage and injuries.  Hundred of thousands are expected to be found dead... children, will be left without parents, parents will have their child die in their own arms.  This small land has suffered intense amounts of natural disasters in the past years.  With 4 hurricanes upsetting the people in 2008, they were barely on the road to recovery, when all their foundations were struck.  How can these people feel hope, when all is continuously collapsing around them?  I struggle finding hope when one small thing doesn't go as planned... what about when your life is shaken over and over--with no means of support & finances.

Over 80% of the precious people live in poverty--- that's just dollars a day.  Dollars--2, 3, 4, dollars a day.  How could I live?  A response is necessary. 

This brings me back to remembering several years back when I visited the sister country of the Dominican Republic.  Another impoverished, third world country.... I can't help but let the images of barefeet, malnourished little bellies, and dirty drinking water consume my mind.  And those were the conditions without a natural disaster. 

Do these people have hope?  They most certainly do.  How is God going to take care of these people?  Through HIS people... we must respond.  Is. 25:4. "For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress."  We must continually pray about what our response should be... can we go? Can we send others?  Can we send supplies?  Can we raise support?  What can we do?

This is an emergency.



Lord, may this be true. Luke 6:20-21. "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."

As Mrs. Cooper.

My fingers tremble at the unknown words about to be produced. :/ I used to have this passion for "blogging"... I ask myself why?? I believe this is where I disect my thoughts and discover a little more of who I am. BUT-- the past 6 months, and then the 12 months prior to that (so 18 months...) I have spent everyday talking to the man God created for me to spend the rest of my life with. This may sound strange (or even romantic), but in a way, I have replaced the "blogging" with Laine. I can tell this man anything and everything. He listens (or pretends to listen) to every bit of nonsense I produce. Sometimes he looks back at me with this half grin and his eyes tell me I am crazy... sometimes he looks intently at me and I can tell he feels my heart and passion... sometimes he shakes his head and pretends he didn't hear the words I just said.

All this to say... my husband is an incredible man. He has been a rock to me since day 1. What a journey my past year and a half has been.

Beginning the summer of 2008, I embarked on an adventure to do what I love, once again. Belmont Univerisity in Nashville, TN was the start of it all... I had just returned from Greece with the precious Roma people, my heart was swolen and my head was itching. Literally itching... day 2 of camp, I discovered I had ((lice))... gross! I am proud to say I got in Greece, so it was unique at least. But this was the start of Laine and Felicia. He must have thought I was nuts- but he embraced it, and fell in love with it :). I, too, a bit more reluctantly, fell in love with this man who showed my God's grace and love endlessly.

It's history from there-- we dated 6 months, got engaged Jan. 3rd, 2009. I graduated from the University of Mobile on May 9th and on June 27th we were married! It has been incredible everyday since.

I took a leap of faith and followed my love to his home city of Paducah, KY. A place I never imagined myself in... and took a job with a Methodist church as the youth director. Boy, has this been the coolest place God has ever put me! Doing ministry day after day, getting to know the coolest kids, and doing it with my husband! We are blessed.

That is just a bit of an update and a beginning to a new era of writing for this lady. I forgot how accountable my words kept me and how much of a challenge they have given me. It is time to begin again...

I know I have my number reader out there-- dad! (If you're the only one, then that's perfect!)

So stay tuned as I journey through this new season of life and grow as a woman of God, discovering more of him and less of me each day.